The Path to Consistency

It’s funny. A key part of putting words down on a page is feeling a sense of having something to say. Sometimes that comes very easy, and sometimes it’s excruciatingly difficult to find. Today is day two of my experiment to work consistency into my publicly shared writing to try and train and grow my writing muscles. I am haunted by self-doubt and fear that this is going to be too difficult to follow through on in the coming days, weeks, and months. But I’m here. I showed up. I’m putting the words down on this page one letter at a time.

That’s what consistency is about. It’s about showing up, day by day. It’s about moving forward moment by moment and putting the work in. For all of my doubts, I already know this. I learned this in the gym many years ago when I committed myself to consistent strength training — and later ruck training. I learned this on a pig farm many years ago when I slogged through days of keeping livestock healthy despite the elements and a dearth of infrastructure at that time. So, now I just need to translate that mindset to everything I’m doing now. The problem, I fear, is that my emotional coping mechanisms for doing so are inadequate for my present life.

In my 20s, I was a single guy just trying to figure out how to get by day by day. I didn’t owe anyone else my time or emotional energy beyond the degree to which it was useful to me to give it to them. I could get away with shutting myself off to those around me and staying consistent with challenging processes through a somewhat ascetic discipline supported by turning inward emotionally. In my 30s, my life circumstances have changed. I got married and had a kid. Now, the demands of my family present me with totally new challenges. I alternately need more than ever to cultivate new disciplines while at the same time finding a way to do so without cutting myself off from the ones who matter most in my life.

I don’t have any answers to this riddle yet. I am still figuring it all out. But it’s a day-by-day process that requires me to show up and do the work. Just like I’m doing right this moment, as I write this.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
David Nwa'eze

David Nwa'eze

I write about independence aspirants within rich & developed states. Mostly posting random observations on here. Socials: linktr.ee/SecessioPopuli